This bit of silliness is dedicated to Adriana Alexa Valentine, for her B-day. Hop by the links page and check her site out! I'm a member of her clan, no da 0_~. Happy b-day, Ad-chan!
Please forgive spelling/grammatical errors. Rough Draft.
DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS : This is a silly original modern fairy tale (sorta Cinderella-ish, I suppose) using the poor, mistreated GW boys under the control of my twisted imagination. They do not belong to me, but were in fact created by Bandai. I'm not making any money, if anyone was willing to pay me for this I would run screaming from him or her in mortal terror. This is silly type shonen ai, 5+2 (yeah, I know, shocker; I *tried* to make it 1+2!!! Really I did!!) and 4+3. Characters probably OOC and Heero is incredibly chatty (hey, we'll just say I'm using H and T's *dub* personalities! *V*). And it's me, so there's sap. Oh..and beware ferret anecdotes and random stupidity in the form of footnotes. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Quick note on ferret colors. Sables are the most common type, the ones that look like little racoons. Butterscotch's run from a warm yellow-brown to a more red-gold. Silvermitts have a white undercoat with silver tips.
The Grand Adventure of Sable Ferret Wu-chan
~Or, trying to cover up a silly story with a fancy title~
By Ryu~Itsutsu
<<1889, London>>
Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre ran, each with a package of papers clutched to his chest as they tried madly to outrun a mob of young men in the black wear of mages. The golden-haired boy glanced over his shoulder, losing his footing and falling hard on cold grass. "Quatre!" Trowa called, turning and reaching for his friend even as Wufei grabbed his arm, urging him forward.
"No, don't stop!" the Chinese boy ordered as he pushed him forward. "You have the most important files! Keep going and I'll take care of Quatre!"
Trowa looked about to argue but Wufei had already turned, gripping Quatre's arm and pulling him upward. But Quatre had dropped part of his armload and scrambled a bit too long to pick them up, and then the wizards were upon them...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
<<2000>>
Wufei was happily asleep in his sling when Quatre-his overenthusiastic but sweet upstairs neighbor-fell gracelessly out of his own sling and landed, predictably enough, right on Wufei's head. "OUCH!"
"Um..sorry, Wufei," Quatre said nervously, hopping from one foot to another, unmindful of the fact that those feet were hopping on his cagemate's stomach.
"Quatre," the little masked ferret growled in return, "get off my stomach or I'll be forced to kill you."
"I wouldn't advise it," came a low voice as Trowa, the other resident of their three-level bungalow, slipped gracefully down from the top level. "Duo wouldn't be happy if you killed him."
Wufei glared at both of them as the butterscotch hopped down and said again, "I'm sorry, Wufei. It was an accident!"
Wufei sighed and lifted his head gracefully, black eyes long-suffering. "That's all right, Quatre. I know you didn't mean to." Muttered, "You never mean to..."
"Thanks, Wufei!" Quatre butted his head under Wufei's chin and bounced merrily to the bottom level in search of food. Trowa smiled slightly at Wufei, who was slowly grumbling his own way out of his hammock inch by inch.
"Thank you for not killing him," the dark silvermitt said and Wufei snorted.
"If I was going to kill him for falling on me, he would've died decades ago," the sable answered grouchily, then they both glanced up as the blanket that was usually draped across their cage was lifted and biiiig violet-blue eyes blinked at them. "Good morning!" Duo chirped happily as he leaned down to open the cage door. A human hand reached through and closed gently around Wufei, pulling him out and cradling him against a firm chest. "How are the three of you today?"
Wufei tilted his head back and looked long and hard at the boy who was his owner. Duo Maxwell had bought Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei in one of their many stints in a pet store. After all, being in the forms of ferrets for a hundred years, one was bound to spend a lot of time in pet stores. They'd also had a large number of people who called themselves "owner," but this one, in Wufei's way of thinking, was different. He was young, living on his own, playful but responsible enough that the three of them were in danger of becoming lazy housepets after a lifetime of escaping from pet stores and bad homes. He'd also seen that the three of them - adults when they were bought and therefore a hard sale - had belonged together, so they hadn't been forced to escape from separate "owners" and find each other again. He hadn't even given them stupid names like "Brownie" "Silver" and "Butter" (*shudder* the memories); had, in fact, not really named them much of anything. Not bad, not bad at all.
Naturally, though Wufei would rather die than admit it, it didn't exactly *hurt* matters that Duo Maxwell was drop-dead gorgeous.
Though, just as naturally, Duo's level of gorgeousness, even if acknowledged, would be of no help to a hundred-year-old ferret who had once been a mage-in-training for some of magic's less likable wizards.
Le sigh.
Duo grinned in the meantime and ran a quick hand over Quatre and Trowa as he settled Wufei on his shoulder, the dark sable easily keeping his balance as Duo set about his regular morning routine. Duo was a singer, of all things, and so was supposed to be careful of his voice. He was rarely allowed to talk anytime Lady Une, his agent (Wufei just couldn't break the feeling that there as something *OFF* with that woman) was around, which was about 89% of normal daylight hours. Given the fact that Duo was easily the most talkative person Wufei had known in his hundred plus years, this was not an easy thing for the braided boy to do. So, when he was safely alone and away from humans, Duo would chatter away at Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa. As Wufei was the best shoulder-rider he was more or less Duo's constant companion around the house, so he had gotten to know the braided human best. "There's a dance tonight," Duo informed Wufei as he set about making breakfast. "Relena-that's the daughter of the owner of my record label-is turning seventeen. Which means, of *course*" Duo made a face, "that she's the same age as *me*! Am I the only one who fails to see how incredibly wonderful and convenient that is?" Wufei fought the urge to roll his eyes. People were always trying to pair Duo up with any girl his age and Relena was one of the top contenders. Not that she wasn't nice; after all, according to Quatre, she was a master at the behind the ear scratch (Wufei wouldn't know, being a rare one person ferret-who-was-once-human), but Duo, quite frankly, didn't swing that way, and Relena was really just interested in him as a friend. Actually, Duo didn't seem to swing much of any way. He was more interested in his career and having fun than dating at the moment. "Ne, Ferreto-chan, why can't people just lay off and give me time to find the person I *want*?" Duo asked softly. He held out an arm and Wufei slipped down it to the counter, sitting to watch as the human opened a can of something or other and poured the contents into a pan. "I mean...I don't need to shop around that much!! When I meet the guy I want to be with, I'll *know.*"
Wufei snorted. <Sure you will. That's what they all say. Love at first sight. It's a nice thought, Duo-kun>
"Well, aren't we noisy this morning," Duo said, shaking a finger at his quiet pet as he whipped around and grabbed a box of Trix. Rooting around, he plucked out a few pieces and held one out [1]. Wufei turned his nose up at it. Only two days prior he'd seen that obnoxious commercial where the poor animated rabbit - supplier of Trix to children - was denied the very treat that he brought to the ungrateful little brats. Injustice in animated television commercials is a harsh and pitiful thing. "C'mon, baby. I know you like the red ones best!"
But then...a cooing Duo was a hard thing to ignore.
Ebon eyes turned and met Duo's wide violet ones. If Wufei could have blushed, he would have. Not that he was the sort to blush!! (>_<) [2] Carefully, he clamped delicate teeth around the cereal and Duo beamed at him. "There! That wasn't so hard, was it?"
Wufei fought the urge to shake his head. It was obnoxiously hard not to respond to this particular human, but spending the rest of his life as a lab specimen starring in Discovery Channel documentaries with gorillas who knew sign language and card reading parrots wasn't his idea of a great career. Besides, if he *was* carted off, he'd be taken away from Duo.
Not that that thought *bothered* him!!
Duo continued to chatter away and Wufei listened, pacing the length of the counter, eyeing the floor (and judging the jump not worth it) and occasionally stealing a sip from Duo's Coke when the boy's back was turned. *innocent expression* The gist of the story was that Duo, as a performer for the Dorian record label, had to come to Relena's birthday party, and he had to bring a date. If he couldn't find one he could, *of course,* go as Relena's "special guest," joy of joys. Wufei scowled inwardly. No one had the right to live Duo's life for him. Unfortunately, Duo didn't know anyone who didn't already have a date, as Duo was a king of procrastination. That meant he was stuck with Relena, and he really wanted his friend to have a chance to mingle and meet some people instead of having to pose for the papperazzi as "Relena Dorian-the Woman Who Has it All. Money, Fame, and Duo Maxwell." The phrase was Duo's and Wufei very nearly laughed. It was a good and rare feeling that he was getting to know only since coming to live with Duo.
"Oh well," Duo sighed as he finished up breakfast (Umm...really, D-kun...clam chowder for *breakfast*? Ew.). "I suppose I'll find *somebody.*" he smiled at Wufei again, plucked him up, and carried him to the living room. Quatre and Trowa glanced up - Trowa was, as usual, climbing anything in sight while Quatre was perusing book titles while appearing to be wandering aimlessly. The butterscotch chirped a greeting and Duo scratched carefully behind his tiny ears. "I've got to get going, guys," he said apologetically as he gathered all three of them up in a twisting pile against his chest. Duo gently poured them into their cage and fought valiantly to ignore Quatre's Ferreto Chibi Eyes of Capture. "I promise I'll give you all a really long run while I'm getting ready for the dance this afternoon!"
Quatre pouted. Trowa "wandered" over to his side and just stood by him, not quite touching. Duo patted them all one more time and closed the door, covering the cage again so they'd go to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wufei was brooding.
For all that Wufei was not *ahem* given to noticing the attractiveness of long-braided singers, enjoying being chattered at for an hour every morning, or finding the relationship between his life-long companions charming, he *was* given to brooding. He was, in fact, quite accomplished at it, having practiced the art of brooding for at least the last forty-six years (after the first time a small child had dressed him up in doll clothes *shudder* - - um, not that I would mention that. ^_^)[3]. Trowa and Quatre, quite used to Wufei's brooding whatever the cause, had piled up in the upper hammock and zonked out, figuring they may as well get some sleep while they could. This suited Wufei just fine, since that meant the well-meaning and kind Quatre couldn't try to get him to talk about what he was brooding over. He didn't *want* to talk about it.
Wufei was brooding over Duo.
The long-haired, wild-natured boy had obviously been upset that morning over his inability to find a date that he *wanted* to date. In the end, Duo had decided to go to the dance dateless after all instead of getting roped into a date with someone he didn't care to know. Duo was a believer in love at first sight, the fairy tale that a more rational Wufei knew wasn't quite possible. Oh, there was *attraction* at first sight, but love? No...you had to know a person in order to love him. After all, Wufei had found Duo annoying when they first came to live here, and now he was quite fond of-
Woah. Reverse gears. New train of thought.
After all...Wufei was cursed for five-hundred years, give or take. And Duo, no matter how full of life he was, how singular, wasn't going to be able to live that long. It was a sobering thought and Wufei shook his head quickly. The Chinese boy had learned his lesson about love while still human...he'd become a mage-in-training under the orders of his family, so that he could meet the bride that had been chosen for him. He shuddered. Meiren hadn't been what he would desire in a mate. They were too much alike despite the fact that he had been a scholar and she a warrior. It hadn't helped that she had already been in love with a young mage she barely knew; a young mage who had been the cause of -
Hn. Not a thought for today.
There was a faint crash and Wufei's head shot up, dark eyes widening. The first crash was echoed by another and the sable ferret scowled, slipping from his hammock and hearing Trowa and Quatre do the same above him. Together, the three of them crossed soundlessly to the door of their cage and easily opened it, three small, pointed faces peeking around the wire door at once.
*blink*
*BLINK*
There was a soft light coming from the kitchen, and a low voice cursed softly as a third, tiny crash was heard. "Stupid mortal! Who leaves dirty laundry in the middle of the kitchen floor?"
Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa cringed. Well, no one ever accused Duo of being normal *or* perfect. They decided as one that they may as well just stay where they were for now. If the burglar didn't kill himself trying to walk through Duo's apartment in low lighting, they could just...um...barge out and...bite his ankles. Or something. *sweat* They didn't have to worry, though, as a person walked through the living room door.
A person with sloppy brown bangs and intense blue eyes, about Duo's age (and, consequently, the age they had been when cursed and still thought of themselves as, in a way), dressed in...*blink* Dressed in white spandex shorts with a white tanktop, complete with thick white socks and sneakers. Said person also just *happened* to emanate a faint white glow and have translucent wings fluttering behind his back.
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," whispered Quatre.
"You noticed?" was Wufei's dry reply. Trowa nonchalantly stepped on the sable's foot. "Oi!"
"SHHHH!"
"Oh! There you are." The glow intensified and the boy stepped closer, waving his hand. The blanket over their cage disappeared and left the three of them visible, still peeking around the door. "I thought your cage was in the bedroom. I could have killed myself walking the length of this apartment." His voice was flat and somewhat dispassionate, not really the way one would expect a white-clad, glowing winged person to be. "Come out here. I don't have all day."
The three ferrets exchanged a glance and walked out, sitting in a row in front of the bizarre winged person who had come into their home. Upon closer inspection it was easy to see that the boy's hair, skin, and clothes were lightly dusted with silver glitter. One would think that would indicate a jolly person, but this guy was hardly the "ho ho ho" type. "Umm..can we help you?" Quatre asked, rightly assuming that winged silver-dusted light-shining people could understand enchanted ferret talk.
"No. But I can help you."
Wufei snorted at the flat tone, somewhat insulted. The boy seemed to be able to imply that the three of them were completely useless with just the word "No." "And what can you do?" he asked cheekily. "Give us wings so we can be classified as a new species?"
"WUFEI!" Quatre whispered loudly (doing the oxymoron dance). "Be nice!"
Wufei rolled his eyes. Trowa gave him The Expressionless Look Of Doom. Wufei sighed and shut up. "How can you help us?" Quatre asked politely, whiskers twitching in an unbearably adorable fashion.
The boy was unmoved. "It has come to the attention of the Society For the Prevention of Discontent Among Magic-Endowed Persons, a representative group of wizards, witches, leprechauns, faeriefolk and the like, that the three of you were magicked while attempting to uncover a wizard-based plot to take over the world. As this plot was later uncovered by a young witch, your problem was placed on the bottom of the ‘important cases' pile. That, and the unusual number of curses caused that year." The boy paused for his first breath in the flatly recited information and Wufei bristled.
"The bottom of the pile! We've been cursed for a hundred %^&*ing years!!"
"Wufei!! Would you be quiet! He's probably here to help and you're ticking him off!"
The winged boy came dangerously close to smirking. "Quatre-kun has a point...Brownie."
Wufei's eyes grew huuuuge and he very nearly leapt forward to-er-bite at the stranger's ankles, but Trowa was sitting on his tail. He glared death at the silver ferret as the winged freak-um, stranger, cleared his throat and continued. "As I was saying. Your file recently came to the attention of the Society and they declared that a way to break the curse - without stepping outside the bounds of faery law as established by the Brothers Grimm Pact of 1922, naturally - had to be found. To that end, the Coalition of FairyGodPersons, Inc, was contacted and a fairy godperson dispatched. So. *I* am your fairy godperson, here to set inform you of the rules that have been improvised for you to break the curse."
Three ferrets blinked, exchanged glances, and looked back at him. "You're...a fairy godperson?" Quatre asked politely, voice a bit strained.
The boy looked straight back. "Yes. My name is Heero. You have a problem with that?"
"Um...no?"
"Fine. Here are the rules. You," he pointed at Wufei, "come here."
Wufei looked about to argue when he was indelicately shoved from behind. "What?" he asked between gritted teeth.
"You are the central figure. In traditional fairy tale fashion, you must take human form for a limited amount of time for three nights. In that time you must gain the love of the person you love."
Wufei blanched. "I'm not in love with anyone!"
"Do not lie to your fairy godperson. It does not make me happy." There was a gleam in Heero's eye that Wufei didn't like at all and...GRUDGINGLY...he nodded. And muttered a few choice expletives, just to sooth his battered ego. Quatre was staring at him with wide dark blue eyes.
"Wufei's in love with someone?"
Wufei wanted to disappear. Really, he did. Love was a terribly private thing that he wasn't quite ready to admit to yet. Trowa appeared to take pity on him and said quietly, "That's Wufei's affair."
"Actually, it's your affair too," Heero said calmly. "Because is he doesn't get D-" Wufei GLARED at him, "the person he loves to love him back within three days, all three of you are ferrets for the next five-hundred years."
Quatre's eyes suddenly lost all trace of his gentle nature. He whirled, bared sharp teeth at Wufei, and said, "You heard the man! Get moving!"
Wufei took a step back. An angry Quatre was a very, very, very, very, very, very (methinks you get the idea), very scary thing. "What am I supposed to do?!" he demanded. "I happen to be a two pound pet!"
"I'll take care of that," Heero said evenly. "You'll start tonight by going to the dance. You have until two AM. Then you'll be spirited back here and become a ferret again."
Quatre blinked. "Shouldn't that be midnight?" he asked curiously.
Heero looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "This is the twenty-first century. *Nothing* happens before midnight anymore."
"Oh. That makes sense."
"Naturally." Heero waved a hand disinterestly and where a small sable ferret had been sitting moments before there was now a Chinese boy, appearing around seventeen years old, with shoulder-length black hair and large dark eyes. It might also be noted by the hentai fanfic author that said Chinese boy was *ahem* au naturale.
"ACK!" Wufei curled up, glaring out at the world. "Clothes!"
"Oh. I forgot." Another wave and Wufei was dressed in all white, a somewhat tradition Chinese-style outfit.
"Duo hates white," Trowa said softly. Quatre looked at him in surprise.
"Well, that's too bad, because white is my specialty. Feel lucky. You could have gotten Dorothy. She does pink," was Heero's even reply.
"Duo?" Quatre asked as Heero spoke.
"Who else do we know, Quatre?" Trowa asked sensibly.
Wufei was fighting the urge to turn bright red. Quatre was still in shock that Wufei - solid, honorable, justice-loving, given to a good rant Wufei - was in love with laughing, silly Duo, Trowa was looking ever-so-slightly amused at Quatre's shock and Heero-Heero was sending Wufei to the dance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Duo was bored.
Bored. Bo-red. Booooooooooooooored. Bored. Board? Bored.
This dance as just like all the others he'd had to go to as a performer for the Dorian record label. Very high society, very pastel, and generally uninteresting. Beside him, Relena looked no more happy than he was. In fact, the only entertainment they had managed to muster up that evening was centered around scandalizing a local tabloid by staging a fight in front of the reporter. Relena really wasn't prone to such unladylike behavior...but she was desperate. "What time is it, Duo-kun?"
"Five minutes later than last time," Duo sighed, chewing absently on a Twizzler he had snuck into the party because of his intense hatred of tiny sandwiches. Relena sighed.
They went back to staring at the crowd, glassy eyed. Same old, same old. Same people as always...then someone NEW walked in.
Dark sloe eyes darted suspiciously around the room from an oval face, bronze skin practically glowing in the low lighting. Moving gracefully through the room, the newcomer appeared to be looking for someone. In his hand he still held the gold-stepped invitation that was the only way into the party. Duo stared, mouth ever-so-slightly ajar.
Relena glanced from the newcomer, back to Duo, back to the newcomer again. She elbowed Duo in the side and asked, "You know that guy?"
"Not a clue."
"He's not a singer," Relena mused, watching her friend with interest.
"Thank the stars." Duo grrrrrinned. "I'm gonna go introduce myself!" he announced to the world at large, practically bouncing out of his seat at the thought of some break in the monotony.
Relena blinked at the now empty chair beside her. "I really do hate to see you being so shy, Duo," she murmured with light humor.
~*~*~*~*~*
Wufei hated parties. He'd hated parties before he was cursed, much less these bright, loud, flashy affairs people had become so fond of in the last half a century. And he felt terribly conspicuous, as it was obvious people were wondering who he was. Duo had explained to him in his early morning chattings that everyone knew everyone at these affairs because it was always the same people over and over. Wufei had barely managed to get in despite having an invitation. There had been a suspicious puff of silver dust, however, and the doorman had decided to let him pass. Convenient, this fairy godperson business. Of course, now the problem presented itself that he couldn't find Duo anywhere. Everything seemed abnormally small and crowded and he couldn't *scent* Duo as he was accustomed to. He was also having trouble readjusting to how bright everything was through superior human eyes. He blinked as a couple danced by seemingly inches in front of his nose. <Well, at least I don't have to worry about being crushed by someone with careless feet->
"Hello!"
Wufei jumped in surprise, whirling around and nearly losing his balance. <%^&* being used to four feet!> he cursed inwardly - then his eyes widened. A warm (if manic) grin, dark violet-blue eyes in a heart-shaped face...<I won't blush. I won't blush. Why? Because *I* do *not* blush. Men do not blush-!>
"Hi," Duo said again, still smiling, a hand held out in invitation. "I'm Duo. Duo Maxwell. Nice to meet you."
Wufei blinked. "I know." <Wonderful, Chang. You finally get to say something other than "chirp!" after three months and all you can say is "I know"! Moron!>
"Oh." Duo watched him a moment. "And you are?"
"Um...Wufei. Chang Wufei." Cautiously, he took Duo's hand.
They were the same height! Duo's handshake was firm and warm, and that hundred watt smile was turned on Wufei just like he was used to.
Wufei paused, breathed deep...and smiled.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Duo was humming along with the music and tapping his foot, not even bothering to look like he wasn't staking out the men's restroom in case his new-found date tried to run off. Little did Duo know he had a huge, silly grin on his face. Wufei was quiet and intense, with a low even voice that made Duo absolutely weak in the knees. He didn't seem to mind Duo's constant chatter (thank goodness Une was sick tonight!!) and had, in fact, talked back. Not too terribly much, mind you, but everything he said was clearly thought through and considered before he said it, stated in careful, certain tones.
In other words, Wufei appeared to be Duo's exact opposite. And, as they say, opposites attract.
Wufei reappeared and Duo grinned at him, easily latching on to the quiet boy's arm and grinning hugely when Wufei offered him a small, rare smile. Duo wasn't certain how he knew that smile was rare...perhaps it was the air of seriousness Wufei seemed to carry around with him. Whatever it was, Duo couldn't shake the feeling that Wufei knew him and that he, in a way, knew Wufei. Weird stuff. Duo liked weird. Weird is gooooood. Duo tugged him in the direction of the complimentary food and drink.
"No alcohol."
"Yeah, I know, I know. Pickles the brain." Duo stuck his tongue out but that was actually something else he liked about the other boy. Wufei wasn't afraid to voice his opinion like most people were these days, especially when talking to a world-famous singer. Besides, Duo had no particular desire to pickle his brain. He figured he didn't have too terribly many brain cells to spare.
"That's a terrible thing to say."
Duo jumped-he hadn't realized he'd been thinking aloud. "Huh?"
"You're an extremely intelligent person," Wufei said seriously, voice lightly admonishing. "You shouldn't put yourself down."
Duo stared at him and, amazingly, blushed, slow heat spreading across his cheeks. "Wu-"
"What time is it?" Wufei suddenly pulled away, raising Duo's arm so he could look at the other boy's wrist. Something akin to panic crossed his face and he yelped, "I've got to go!"
Duo frowned. "It's only two AM," he protested. "The dance doesn't end til dawn!"
"I know..but I have to go. I'm sorry!" Wufei turned, heart pounding. He had a minute to get somewhere private so he wouldn't disappear there in front of everyone. Duo was on his heels but Wufei was faster, managing to duck around a bare corner and behind a huge potted palm before he disappeared in a puff of silver dust.
Duo tore around the corner and stared at the empty hallway. "What?" he asked the ceiling. "I don't even get a damn shoe?!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wufei shook out his fur and blinked - only to be accosted by a hyper Quatre. "Did it work?! Is he in love with you?! Are-"
"Quatre...let Wufei breath."
"Oh..sorry Wufei-kun..." Quatre muttered as he stepped off Wufei's back and tried to ignore the fact that the sable ferret was wheezing from having a butterscotch tapdance on his chest. "So..how did it go?"
Wufei turned his face and said, softly, "I don't know, Quatre. Okay? I have two more days."
"But-"
"Quatre."
Quatre glanced over at his once-boyfriend and sighed. "Sorry, Wufei."
"It's understandable," Wufei said softly, curling up in a ball, tail tucked under his nose. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
"...Thank you."
"Aa."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Get up! I do not have all day to spend on one mission!"
Wufei had been enjoying a Very Nice Dream *puuuuurrrr* involving Duo, a broken curse, and a tub of caramel syrup [4] when his fairy godperson (AKA Mr Congeniality, 1963)'s nasal voice popped his lovely little bubble and welcomed him to the wide and wonderful land of reality. "Damn you, Heero."
"Wufei, be nice."
*Sigh* Wufei puuuuuulled himself out of bed, stretching hugely before meandering to the center of the living room floor where Heero stood waiting impatiently, the occasional silver sparkle drifting to the carpet and disappearing in a vanilla-scented puff. "Yes?" Wufei asked grouchily. He was tired. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night waiting for Duo to get in (that braided heart-attack-in-the-making wandered through the door at 5a.m.) and then Duo had been up at nine and had insisted the three of them wake up for their morning run - but he hadn't carted Wufei around as he usually did. He seemed quiet and unusually distant, perhaps a little sad. It annoyed Wufei no end that he found himself worried about the braided human and he felt just a *little* guilty. Or jealous, just in case someone *else* was the cause of Duo's melancholy (may they protect their valuables if someone else had made Duo mad because Wufei could into their house and steal their stuff no problem, as long as it was small - how's that for revenge for upsetting Duo?! *rant rant*). Either way, Wufei wasn't happy with his current confusing emotional state. Then, when he had *finally* managed to nod off, a barrage of rather *ahem* interesting dreams had kept him from sleeping soundly. And to top it all off, he had an itch riiiiight above his left hind leg, which was a real pain in the klodney to get to.
"About time you were up. Hurry. You're going to be late for your date," Heero said shortly, gossamer wings quivering a bit in agitation. So many missions, so little time! Being immortal was such a drag.
"Date?" Wufei asked, yawning.
"Yes. You wrote Duo a letter and the two of you are going to meet at nine o'clock at a movie premiere. It's already past eight."
"I did?"
"Yes you did, and I hope your handwriting has improved in the last hundred years. I had to forge that letter from a hundred-twenty-two year old piece of paper and your writing was horrendous," Heero said flatly.
"How could your handwriting have improved?" Quatre whispered, looking at his tiny paws.
"Don't ask," Wufei replied, then he was surrounded by silver dust and *poof* instant bishonen (just add fairy dust - - Only $19.95 at your local Ryu-Mart, buy yours today!).
"He can't wear what he wore last time," Quatre pointed out sweetly. Heero waved again and Wufei was dressed in a modern-cut tux. It was white, naturally, and so not quite in fashion but cursed beggars can't be choosers.
"Ready?"
"Well, no, what do I-"
*POOF* *sparklesparkle*
....
"I guess he *was* ready," Quatre said with a weak smile.
Trowa nodded. "Aa."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Duo fell asleep at the world premiere showing of *My Heart By Midnight.*
He'd been thrilled when Wufei appeared from the crowd, invitation in hand, looking absolutely delicious all in white. The Chinese boy had smiled at him almost shyly and murmured a greeting before the paparazzi were onto them. Wufei had obviously been unnerved by the flashing bulbs; though it would have been impossible to tell from his expression, the muscles under Duo's fingers were tight and hard. Duo fought his way through the crowd with the famous Maxwell Grin firmly in place and they found a spot in the balcony. They'd talked easily until the film started about this and that, then sat back to watch. It wasn't exactly the world's most exciting movie (must be Oscar material, then) and he was tired. After all, he'd spent three hours the night before trying to get information on his mysterious companion after Wufei had disappeared, then he'd spent all morning worrying over the fact that no one had a clue who Chang Wufei was. It was cool in a way, being a mystery, but he hadn't relaxed until he'd gotten the note from Wufei (in truly horrible handwriting that had taken him close to thirty minutes to completely decipher) apologizing for his abrupt exit and saying he hoped to see Duo at the premiere. Of course, the dreams during his morning nap hadn't helped *blush* Slowly, his head listed to the side, ending up on Wufei's shoulder as he slipped into sleep.
Wufei nearly jumped out of his skin when Duo's head met his shoulder...he blushed bright red when Duo curled in his seat, one arm slung across Wufei's waist and his face half-buried in Wufei's neck.
Unfortunately, he was too darn cute to push away.
Ooooooh the burdens we must bear. ^_^.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
No one was quite sure what to make of Duo's good mood the next day. The magazines were running pictures of Duo with some mysterious, completely unknown Asian boy who basically looked ready to kill a variety of cameramen. Duo hummed in the hallways and insisted on working with the band on setting music to some lyrics he wrote–which were absolutely beautiful, by the way. It was almost like an old black and white movie, and Duo was almost a like a man in love.
Quatre and Trowa watched Wufei sleep. That was as far as they got. Apparently the stress of changing back and forth from his cursed form to his natural one was a strain and he had to rest every extra minute.
Tonight was his last chance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
<<"You understand the rules. You have to exact both a kiss - a real one, no pecks on the cheek - and a declaration of love before two am tomorrow morning. Usually a kiss would suffice but since you're acting for three, this is a special case. If you accomplish your mission, you all return to human form. If you don't, you remain ferrets for the next three-hundred and eighty years.">>
<At least a ‘good luck' would have been nice> Wufei thought moodily as he stood outside a small café where Duo had said to meet him. He was dressed casually in white slacks and a long-sleeved silk shirt (three guesses on the color and the first two don't count) set off by a black scarf Quatre had snitched from Duo's closet and told Wufei under no uncertain terms to wear. In his hand he carried three white roses wrapped in tissue paper that crinkled every time he so much as breathed.
He was horribly nervous. After all, more than just four hundred years of ferretude was on the line here (not saying that's not a lot, especially since Quatre and Trowa would never let him live it down, though the former would always remind him of his failure *politely* and the latter would just LOOK at him), but Wufei's heart was too. Because he had *finally* admitted it to himself.
Wufei was in love with Duo.
Lovable, bright, crazed, secretly lonely, black clad Duo who took care of his pets and adored his friends and believed in love at first sight. And tonight was Wufei's last chance to tell him. That was his real concern, just making sure Duo *knew.* Whether Duo loved him back or not was immaterial.
<Sure, Chang. And here comes the flying pig, here to entertain us at bank machines and other of life’s many line-ups.> [5]
Duo walked in.
Wufei stared.
Duo was in black jeans and a dark blue sweater, hair braided as always and hanging over one shoulder. As soon as he caught sight of Wufei, a smile spread across his face and he slipped off the dark sunglasses he was wearing, winking as he walked close. Wufei's heart beat faster, his palms actually felt sweaty, and his head was spinning. (Boy's got it *BAD* no da). "Duo, I-" <Just say it, get it over with, it's easy, plain and simple, three little words> "These are for you." <Or four. The incorrect four, but better than "I know"....>
Duo looked surprised a moment, then smiled. Not a wild, maniacal grin but a rare, small smile that made his eyes positively sparkle. "Thanks, Wu-chan," he said, reaching out a hugging Wufei quickly and fiercely. "No one's ever given me flowers before!" Wufei blushed, Duo laughed, and they were off.
~*
Wufei checked the watch Heero had thankfully included with his latest outfit. <1:52 am. Shit. I'm almost out of time.> He glanced down and saw Duo snuggled against his side, fast asleep. He didn't know what possessed the other boy to stay up all hours of the night if all he did was fall asleep. Not that he was complaining about having a warm length of Duo Maxwell pressed against his side, but he was almost out of time and from the café to the movie to the park Wufei hadn't been able to say what he'd needed to say. He just lost himself in listening to Duo chatter and it slipped his mind. <Sure. Coward. You don't want to say it because he won't say it back. You don't believe in love at first sight, but he does, so if he doesn't at least think he loves you by now then he's not going to.>
<Life is not fair.>
"Duo?" Wufei poked the sleeping boy, eliciting a mumbled response, tightened brow and snuggle. Smiling softly, he poked the sleeping boy a second time, and this time Duo's eyes fluttered open, almost black in the low light from the streetlamps.
"Hmm? What?"
"I need to go, Duo. It's late."
Duo blinked sleepily. "Oh...yeah. I'll see you tomorrow?"
Wufei swallowed, reaching out and brushing too-long bangs from the amaryllis eyes. "No...no, I can't come back tomorrow."
Duo frowned, straightening up. "Why not?" he asked almost belligerently. He was poised for hurt now. This was why he never committed to anything, why he hadn't told this mysterious, infuriating, bizarre, beautiful, opinionated boy that he was the *one.* Because everybody left eventually. Everybody. Duo Maxwell was destined to be alone.
"Because..." Wufei glanced at his watch.
1:58. Not enough time. Not enough time to explain. So, Wufei just reached out, touching his fingers to the other boy's chin and forcing Duo to look him straight in the eyes. "Duo..I want you to know the last three months have been the best of my life."
Duo frowned confusedly. "Um...that's nice, Wufei." <Shouldn't that be the last three *nights* or am I missing something?> Those ebon-black eyes were boring into him, still so strangely familiar, that look in their depths.
"I'm glad I got a chance to know you, Duo. I'm glad I..."
"Um...Wu...you know, you can drop by the house anytime." Poor Duo. Now he was thoroughly confused, and fairly convinced that his Love at First Sight (who happened to also be a great conversationalist, a huge plus) had a few screws loose. But that was okay. Duo could appreciate that in a person.
"No I can't," Wufei murmured. He leaned close and planted a small kiss on Duo's lip. The long-haired boy's mouth fell open in delighted shock. "I love you."
"Wu...you can.."
"No, Duo. I'm...just a pet."
*POOF*
*ACHOO!!*
Duo had silver dust up his nose and there was the sickening-sweet smell of too much vanilla Glade plug-in in the air. *achoo!* *achoo!* And any dramatic tension was ruined.
"Wait a second!" *achoo!* I know where I've" *CHOO* "seen those eyes! And my whole blasted" *waka-choo* "house has smelled like vanilla for the last three" *AAAAAAAA-false alarm* "days!"
Duo took off like a bat out of...the dugout. *tiddy-boom*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wufei winced and scuttled back, knowing that a very upset Quatre was incoming - then blinked.
No fur, no sharp canines, no paws, no tail. Something was definitely odd here. He glanced up-and saw Heero, very annoyed, with a ferret on each shoulder. "Thanks to your inefficiency, your time limit has just been increased by fifteen minutes. I advise you get moving."
"Huh?" Wufei asked eloquently.
"Duo is on his way here. He's figured out who you really are and he's ready to say the words to break the curse; except that you, of course, were so slow that he didn't have time to do it. Due to the fact that you managed a kiss and the emotion, you have fifteen...make that fourteen minutes to gain the confession. I suggest you hurry and meet him halfway so I can get to my next mission."
Wufei blinked, stared, then jumped up, running out the door like a bat out of...batting practice (itai, that one hurt). With twin flying leaps, Trowa landed on one shoulder and Quatre on the other, both holding on for dear life. "What are you doing?!"
"This is our future too, Wufei!" Quatre said with none of his usual sweetness. "We're not gonna let you screw it up!! If you don't get there and say what needs to be said-I will make your life a LIVING HELL!!"
Wufei sweatdropped and pulled the two of them down into his arms, running faster.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
They rounded a corner at the same time and very nearly ran into each other, both gasping for air. "Wu-Wufei!" Duo managed. "Man, you-"
"I-*huff* I need y-*whew!*- I-ouch!! Dammit! Quatre!!" Wufei glared down at the ferrets in his hands. Quatre had bitten him!
"Quatre?" Duo asked. He peered at what Wufei was holding and suddenly did a bizarre little hop. "I was *right*! You *are* my ferreto-chan!"
Wufei sighed. "Stars, please don't call me that!"
"TWO MINUTES WUFEI!!" came Quatre's irate voice. All Duo heard was a loud, high-pitched and very angry chirping.
"What's wrong with him?" Duo asked, having regained most of his breath. He leaned forward but Wufei snatched his hands back, balancing both of his friends in one hand.
"Duo! I need to know-do you love me?!"
Duo stared at him, mouth hanging open. "Wha-what-?!"
Wufei grabbed Duo's shoulder with his free hand, pulling him closer. "My name is Chang Wufei...these are my friends Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton-"
*Chirp* said the butterscotch ferret.
"Quatre says hello. Anyway, over a hundred years ago the three of us were cursed to take the forms of ferrets for five hundred years. The only way to break the curse was if *I* could get the person I was in love with to fall in love with me. I love you. So I need to know, Do. You. Love. Me?"
Duo made a small, confused sound. "Aren't you supposed to get turned into frogs or something-?"
"DUO!!"
"THIRTY-TWO SECONDS!"
"Duo, please, I'm begging you and I do *not* beg. Do you love me? At all?"
Duo frowned. "Are you asking me because you need the curse broken?"
"I am asking you because I blasted LOVE YOU, Duo!" Wufei cried, exasperated, and kissed the other boy hard.
........
"WUFEI! You'd better come up for air in the next twelve seconds or I'm selling you for a mink stole!" Quatre screamed. (Oi! Being a ferret for a hundred years could stress anyone out!)
Wufei pulled away,
"Ten," Trowa said calmly.
shook a dazed Duo,
"Nine."
took a deep breath
"Eight."
and asked
"Seven."
"Duo, I need to know,"
"Six."
"Do you love me?"
"Five."
Duo paused, a fingertip pressed to his lip.
"Four."
Quatre dug his claws into Wufei's arm.
"Three."
"Well, Wu,"
"Two."
"Yeah, I love you."
"One."
*POOF*
Quite suddenly, Wufei had his arms full of two very human boys. Understandably, Wufei fall down, right on his nice little behind. Trowa rolled one way and Quatre another in a wild array of limbs. Trowa recovered his balance with his age-old grace, turned, and was suddenly presented with a double armful of Quatre. "TROWA-CHAN!"
"Um..Quatre..." Trowa started, a blush rushing up his face, turning the calm and collected pilot a fascinating shade of fire-engine red.
"HEERO! CLOTHES!" Wufei bellowed, shaking his fist in the air.
"Oh," came an unmistakably nasal, disembodied voice. "I forgot."
*poof* *sparkle*
Quatre turned as red as Trowa and the blond planted a big wet one on the brown-banged boy's face as nice, white clothes covered up their..er..natural assets. "Trowa-chan..I am *so* happy to see you human," Quatre said happily, practically purring.
"Aa. Likewise."
Duo stared. He blinked. He rubbed his eyes. Finally, he leaned against Wufei, tilted his head back and said, "Itooshi?"
"Hai?"
"Man, have we got to *talk*!"
Wufei glanced across at the happily returned to human forms Quatre and Trowa, up at the fairy godperson dusting off a last bit of silver sparkle from his spandex shorts as he hovered in the air above them on gossamer wings, and then down at his love. "That we do," he said agreeably, "but later," and kissed Duo's breath away.
~THHHEEEEE EEEEND~ *trumpet fanfare*
*blinks* My goodness, some of you are still here? I'm impressed. Well, I got my sappy ending, so I'm off to...um...do something else! *V* Comments welcome, as always.
WELCOME TO FOOTNOTE CITY - NEXT RIGHT
[1] Three of my four ferrets are Trix addicts, though Doc Holiday (the one Wufei's appearance is based on...how fitting) steadfastly refuses to eat a Trix unless he is allowed to PICK HIS OWN, thankyouverymuch. Tasuki, our strawberry blond baby who sadly wasn't with us very long, nonetheless managed to earn the title Cereal Nazi in his few months of life. ^_^. Kowaii!
[2] AAAAAH! If you put parenthesis around the >_< face it looks like Cartman! (>_<) *runs away screaming from South Park image* *whimper* (Yeah, so Amanda fears chibis and tiny dragons on her shoulder. Ryu fears South Park characters and her developing tendency to refer to herself in third person).
[3] PREPARE TO DIE, WOMAN!!
[4] What?! It's for the ICE CREAM! Hentais.
[5] What? You say Fei-chan would never think this? You know what-you're absolutely right. Call it my twisted ode to the Kids in the Hall and let it go. *heh*
~Ryu, her insanity continues *V*