Too Much Information ...

    by Tiiana

     

    As part of my punishment, Commander Chang felt it necessary to require 
that I embark on some studying outside of my Black Lions duty.
    No one else is required to do this but me. Little old me. He wants me to 
go into the computer lab and study some of the earth's archives on
    the history of the middle to late 20th century. He, of course, wiped the 
smile off my face when he advised me to study politics and not
    music.

    Doesn't he know that music was a large part of the political structure of 
the time period? Doesn't he know that the entertainment industry
    reined supreme with the silent movies of the early portion of the century, 
ending with rap, alternative rock and Star Wars?

    Without too much enthusiasm, I click on the archive links and go straight 
into earth's government library for the 20th century.

    World War I - Boring.

    World War II - If I could go back in time with a Scorpio, I'd end that war 
quick, fast and in a hurry.

    Vietnam - What a waste.

    Dessert Storm - This one was short, but I must stop here. There are 
several articles written by non-participants that are interesting, but one
    really catches my eye.

    Damn I'm lucky. Thanks for an active libido and being overly fertile. I'm 
pregnant and excused from going into battle. I mean granted, I
    have a child that I have to care for, but I'd rather do that than die or get 
sick because of chemical warfare. I could have done what a friend
    of mine did and break an arm or leg, but shit ...

    Anyway, now I'm here, fat as hell and on medical leave from the 
Marines. I just hope this thing is over by the time my baby is born.

    Ayana O. Black

    Holy shit! That name. Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of people 
with the last name of Black, but something makes me believe ... Naw,
    let me stop there. Although I was fortunate to be able to keep my birth 
name, I know I'm grasping at straws. There's now way this is an
    ancestor of mine.

    But that won't keep me from looking.

    I find out that Ayana was a single parent who had three other children. 
Her oldest daughter's name was Ariana.

    More than a coincidence.

    Hours later, I track down her lineage to AC 5 and find a newspaper 
article.

    Clarice Black: 27 year marriage to Brigadier General Ronald Hutch 
ended abruptly last evening with his murder. Cause of death - multiple
    stab wounds inflicted by his wife, Clarice Black. Clarice, who was a Lt. 
Cmdr. in the Marines was found distraught in the backyard
    screaming that he abused her. Immediate investigations prove that there 
were several reports supporting her claims of abuse with the last
    being an order of protection issued against the deceased. There were 
signs of break in and the children also collaborated Clarice's story ...

    Oh no. Not her. I cry to myself. I can't believe what I'm reading. As I read 
farther, I see that her youngest daughter had also been a victim
    of abuse. On and off through out time, the Black women were abused 
until ...

    My eyes stretch wide as I read the name on the death certificate: 
Millicent Black-Crawford. Right next to that, I see her eulogy.\

    Millicent Black-Crawford: Loving mother and wife, leaves behind her 
husband of 15 years and only daughter, Lateefah ...

    That's all I need.

    Bolting away from the computer, not caring who stared, I run for dear 
life. I run through the buildings and up a flight of stairs. I need to get
    out and out quickly. I can't face this. I don't want to remember.

    I reach a door. I grab it and try to open it, but it's locked. Not caring, I 
continue to pull on the door screaming for it to open. Suddenly, I feel
    a hand grab my shoulder from behind. Blindly, I begin swinging with all 
the strength I have but it's useless. The person is able to restrain
    me.

    "Ariana!"

    Breathing hard, I open my eyes to find Lt. Cmdr. Chang firmly holding 
my arms.

    "Why?" I scream. "Why did you make me do it. I didn't want to know. I 
didn't want to see it. I don't want to be reminded."

    "Calm down and tell me what you are talking about. You were supposed 
to be studying politics."

    "I was," I say breathlessly, "but I found out ... Please. I don't want to talk 
about it."

    Wufei studies my face briefly, then reaches behind me to open the door 
that wouldn't open for me.

    "Let's go," he says as he nudges me out the door. Once we are settled, he 
sits quietly, looking at the slightly darkened sky overhead.

    "Ariana, I know it's hard for you to talk about things but ... What is 
upsetting you so badly."

    Ever since my real parents died, I never trusted anyone. Especially since 
... Anyway, since meeting Wufei and him helping me get out of
    prison, a part of me trusts him (although he still pisses me off 
sometimes). 

    Not being able to look up at him, I answer. "You know, I'm named after 
an ancestor of mine from the 20th century. Her mother, selfishly,
    allowed herself to get pregnant just so she couldn't fight in a war."

    "Is that what you're angry about?"

    "Nope. Not hardly. What upsets me is ... Wufei, I know you're well aware 
of my crimes, but do you know why I killed him? Do you know
    why I killed my adoptive father?"

    Wufei looks at me with all the compassion in the world. The only 
information he has on me is what the courts have and that story is one
    sided, from my adoptive mother. None of it is true. She did a great job 
convincing everyone that I am just a murderous bitch.

    However, before he can answer, I tell him my story. "After my adoption, 
the abuse began. At first, he would just touch me. My mother
    would get so jealous, she began beating me. Soon it became a game to 
them both. She would beat me and he'd get turned on. Afterwards,
    he would fuck me with her watching. Sometimes she would join in, but 
mostly, she'd watch. It just got to the point that I couldn't take it
    anymore. So one day, she sent me to *please* him. It didn't matter that I 
begged not to. So on my way to the bedroom, I grabbed the
    biggest knife I could find. When he touched me, I stabbed him again and 
again and again. There was so much blood. So much."

    Suddenly, I felt a light tug on my shoulder as Wufei puts his hand around 
me and pulls me to him. I look up to him, trying to see his eyes,
    but he tries to hide them. I know he is angry. I know that after giving him 
that private piece of information will make him see me differently.
    It still hurts though. I don't want him to feel sorry for me. I will never 
accept anyone's pity. I just want him to understand why I am the way
    that I am.

    After taking a deep breath, he speaks. "Did something in your studies 
bring about this? Was there something that made you decided to
    tell me this now and not speak about it when you were on trial?"

    "Well, the O.J. Simpson fiasco could have done it," I joke, still trying to 
find some laughter in the world, "but ..." I pull back from his
    soothing embrace to wipe the tears from my face. "Actually, I found my 
ancestry. The fact that abuse ran rampant in my family is what
    upset me so. Almost every woman, starting from Ayana Black on down 
to myself were abuse military women."

    Wufei's hands me a handkerchief which I gladly accept. His scent is on it 
you know. "Military women, ne?"

    I smile up at him. "The Marines. Sempai Fi. The Few. The Proud. The 
Marines. And I'm proud to say that like one of my foremothers, I had
    the balls to kill the bastard that hurt me."

    "Ariana. Don't be so proud of your crimes. The acts that your adoptive 
father did to you were horrific, but there were other ways to punish
    him."

    "Unfortunately cutting off his dick wasn't an option."

    Wufei gives me one of his rare smiles. "No. Although that would have 
served him justice, I didn't mean that. A very long stay in solitary
    confinement on an asteroid colony would have suffice. Maybe setting 
him up with some extremely harden criminals."

    I stay quiet for a moment before continuing. "Do you think I'll ever get 
over it?"

    "Your commanding officer is Heero Yuy. If he can't get it out of you, I 
don't know who will."

    "Ha, ha. Very funny," I sneer.

    Wufei stands up and pulls me up with him.

    "Come on. It's dinnertime and we don't want to miss today's special."

    "What's that?"

    "Mystery meat and no more food fights. You looked more pitiful than the 
rest of the guys cleaning up that crap."

    "But I wasn't the one who started it. It was ..."

    "I'm well aware of who started it, but you joined in and that makes you 
just as guilty as him. Furthermore, I think you like him."

    "Lt. Cmdr. Chang, did you do a Heero Yuy and jump out of Shenlong 
head first?"

    "Baka no onna."

    "Whatever man."