Higher Power

Higher Power Seimei strode quickly down the hallway, Michael's
revelations and what they meant would have to wait for
now. The confrontation between them had disrupted her
schedule and she was running late. The stride changed
to a slow jog as the muscles in the back of her neck
knotted and pain shot through her head. Her rooms
were on the other side of the base and she didn't have
much time, her nerve endings already felt like they
were on fire...

//Hurry! //

Intro music begins
Yea, my higher power
Yea, give me the power

The jog became a full fledged run, sweat poured down
her face and soaked her tank top, plastering her
straggling hair to her cheeks and the back of her
neck. Her emotions began wildly fluctuating from
euphoria, to depression, to rage, then back.

//God, not again! //

[File #524 62F 0266UZ
Subject: PanDora Serial Experiment, final product Seimei
Notes: Subject has shown a high tolerance towards
pain, however it is not yet satisfactory. We will
now begin building this tolerance to a greater degree
in order to develop within her a immunity towards this
weakness.]

"We need to increase the stimulation in her brain,
this level is no longer effective."

"Double it then."

"NO!" Her own voice startled her from her thoughts
and she found herself standing alone in one of the
corridors. How much time had passed? A glance at her
watch showed that she'd lost another five minutes, she
was running out of time. A sudden surge of terror
prompted her to start moving again as she fought to
stay in control, fought the images that flashed
through her mind...

--Duo screamed as her knife slashed his face open to
the bone, blood spurted everywhere while she laughed--

//No.//

--Smashed Khaiya onto the floor, ripped his clothing
from him and took him on the floor as he screamed--

//No! //

--Michael sat in front of her in the weight room,
screaming--

//I will not allow this to happen! //

She shoved past someone while she ran, never even
noticing as a wave of pain/pleasure washed all
coherent thought from her mind. Her eyes, normally
dark brown and emotionless had become an eerie gold,
reflecting wild panic.

//Fear, pain, anger//

Let me love you
Take me home to your religion
for the night
Let me touch you
Teach me how to see
your vision through my eyes

She finally made it to her room, smashing into the
wall beside the door. The door itself seemed to take
an eternity to open but as it did she fell inside,
gasping as she staggered to the bed. She collapsed
onto it, whimpering.

//Need, hunger, fury, nonononono...//

Wild, uncontrollable laughter poured from her lips. She was going to die.

[File #524 68O 0221UT
Subject: Serial # 429-790-890-6LU
Notes: Subject has received repeated shock treatment
of varying strength. It seems to be reacting quite
poorly to the treatment and is not expected to survive
the next application. Therefore we have decided to
use this opportunity to view the effects of extremely
high levels of electricity on the human body.]

--Burning... she was burning alive as lighting shot through her limbs and scortched her mind. The sound of bones snapping as she fought the restraints did not even register, the pain nonexistent when compared to the flames ripping along her nerves.--

//Oh, look at the pretty colors, just like Michael's hair! //

Michael... another survivor of Pandora, like her.
No, not like her... one of the test subjects whose
torture had enabled her conception. One of the
thousands who'd suffered because of her...

--She stared at the rows and rows of bodies laid out
before her. Cold grey corpses, twisted and bleeding,
needles and wires covering their bodies. They rose
from their tables and faced her, screaming and crying.
Their faces were contorted with agony as they pointed
at her in accusation. She couldn't move, couldn't
speak as they came towards her and ripped from her the
parts of her that belonged to each of them until there
was nothing left.-- Nothing... she blinked and found
herself back in her room, crouched on the bed. The
moment of clarity allowed her enough time to roll onto
her side and pull a small grey box out from under the
bed before the next attack came.

Turn the pages
Tell my story, let me face another day
Safe embraces, I feel it comin' now
My captain's on his way.

Muscle spasms took over her body and gnawing hatred blinded her for a moment before it bled into hysteria.

//Michael's right, I am a psychotic bitch... wonder where my wheels are? //

Michael... who was part of her just like the others... hers... Michael was hers.

--Carrying Michael's unconscious body to the infirmary--

Duo's voice echoed in her mind like an endless chant.

"He's your partner. You take care of him."

//Yes, mine!!//

--Winter reaching out to catch her arm, "I am like Michael... like you."

//Bitch//

//No one's like me!!//

--Pulling a gun and emptying it into the other woman's
body, blood and brains splattering everywhere,
covering everything, the walls bleeding around her as
she laughed, cried, screamed--

//No, this is wrong! //

The pain in her head cut into her train of thought,
leaving her weeping. Somehow she managed to keep a
hold on the box. She remembered Michael's earlier
accusations and burst into laughter while the tears
ran down her face. She couldn't ever understand what
he'd been through, she only knew it had helped create
her. But who was she, what was she? A soldier? A
machine? Was she even human?

[File #072 66A 4260PG
Subject: PanDora Serial Experiment, final product Seimei
Notes: Subject has show great improvement in her
ability to exterminate targets, subject excels in
taking the initiative and planning for multiple
outcomes. Chemical treatment for repression of
emotions appears to be successful. We shall continue
to increase dosage and monitor for response.]

Her shaking hands left steaks of sweat on the box as
she slowly opened it and stared at the already
prepared syringe inside. The lime green chemical
inside the plastic casing seemed to glow faintly, even
in the dark room.

Hey, my Higher Power
The world is spinnin', but I'm not afraid
Yea, give me the power
It's the beginnin', the beginnin' of another day

Seimei pulled it from its case and held it before her.
The drug that kept her sane, kept her dead inside.
Her savior, her personal demon.

[File #524 61A 0299DV
Subject: Serial # 081-255-070-6EM
Notes: Removal of the skin on the subjects back is
complete, allowing us to better view its bone
structure and prepare the bones for the reinforcement
that is to be added. Subject has proven ideal for
this experiment in that it has already endured
multiple alterations....]

--Intense pain streaked down her back, as her skin was
ripped from her body, then gnawed through her bones.
Everything inside her caught fire and she burned--

//At least you can feel Michael. You may not like it
but anything is better than the cold unfeeling numbness//

Anything... blind hatred blurred her sight, a wild
snarl twisted her face into an unrecognizable mask.
She pulled back her arm to throw the needle across the
room. In her mind she could clearly see it fly from
her hand and shatter into a million pieces against the
wall. Anything... it would be so easy to just let go
and allow the chaos to take her away... She sat frozen
and tense, not moving, just staring at the wall.

Yea
Let me hold you
Take me back into the secrets of my mind
Let me know you
Come and save me Lord
Don't let me cross the line.

[File #303 28I 0302BA
Subject: PanDora Serial Experiment, final product Seimei
Notes: Subject has failed. Further analysis is
required in order to discover the reason for this
deficiency.]

One of the professors stared at her coolly over the clipboard he held.
"You're still not performing to our expectations Seimei."

"I apologize sir."

"You'll do better than that, you're going to repeat the exercise over and over again until you get it correct. You will not rest until it's perfect, do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"We do not tolerate weakness or imperfection."

"Yes sir."

As she sat on the bed in her room, silent tears
trickled down her face. She couldn't do it. Her arm
went limp and the needle dropped onto the bed beside
her. Despair replaced the hatred and she curled up
into a tight ball, weeping silently. She buried her
face in her hands as her entire body shook.

//I can't do this anymore. Why even bother trying? //

A scream ripped through her body, fought to break free, then echoed off the walls of the room.

Hey, my Higher Power
The world is spinnin', but I'm not afraid
Yea, give me the power
It's the beginnin', the beginnin' of another day.

For a moment she just lay on the bed, a limp bundle of
misery. Slowly she pulled herself together as best
she could, then forced herself to stop crying and sit
up, her face contorted with the effort. She picked up
the syringe again, lifting it to her arm and shakily
pressing it into the vein, not even feeling the prick
as it punctured her skin. She stared at the sight of
the needle in her arm with disgust and whimpered softly.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change, The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will I pray
Shall be done
Amen.

//Alright, you've come this far, now finish it. //

//I don't want to! //

With a look of determination, she ignored the small
voice inside herself and injected the chemical into
her blood stream. Her eyes shut and another, single
tear trickled down her face. The whimper became a
moan then died completely as the drug began to work in
her system. Joy, pain, hate, love, fear, pleasure,
the confusion of emotions, all vanished, replaced by
cool rationale. What might have been regret,
flickered briefly and was gone. The muscles in her
body, faintly sore from being kept tense for so long,
relaxed and she pulled the needle from her arm.
The crazed, emotional images disappeared as if they'd never been.

Ooh, let me love you
Ooh, let me love you

The shaking stopped and she reached up to wipes the tears from her eyes

Hey, my Higher Power
The world is spinnin', but I'm not afraid

She opened her eyes, they were again dark brown and as
unemotional as the rest of her face. As dead as she was inside.

Yea, my Higher Power
It's the beginnin' of another day

Her posture straightened and she pushed the sweat soaked hair from her face.

Hey, my Higher Power
The world is spinnin', but I'm not afraid

She picked up the empty box from among the sheets, closed it and placed it on the table beside the bed.

Yea, my Higher Power
It's the begginin' of another day.

She glanced around the room; everything appeared as it
should except for the mess she has made of the bed.
When had she ripped apart her pillow? She didn't
remember, but the feathers and bits of cloth tangled
in her sheets confirmed that she had. Provisioning
was not going to be pleased. A glance at the clock
showed she had other duties to attend to though, the
room would have to wait. Using the end of the blanket,
she wiped the sweat from her skin. She slid off the
bed, and with absolute precision, went to the nearby
trash can and dropped the now empty syringe she had
still been holding into it, then walked from the room to the bathroom.

Yea, my Higher Power
Yea, my Higher Power
Yea, my Higher Power

~Fin~