Title: The Epic Beginning of the Tale of Fluffy the Mystery Meat
Authors: Kuriyamimizu/Crimson Angel
Game Date: *sometime during break, no specific date*

Warnings: this is so random.. (chuckles) .. that's about it..

Notes: eating cafeteria food will make you funny in the head. Look what
happened to me ^_@  oh, and     ((   )) =thoughts
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Alex sauntered into the cafeteria humming to herself and resisting the urge
to dance rest of the way to the line for food.  ((let us not make a complete
idiot of ourselves ne?)) In typical oblivious Alex style the redhead almost
managed to run into a wall before she came to the present and got with the
program. Blinking and feeling stupid she made her way over and got into line
with the other officers, out to get food. Grabbing a tray and the necessary
cutlery she looked through the faces in line. She didn't see anyone that
seemed familiar.

((That means I get to sit alone at a table or sit with strangers. Not fun.
Always amusing in some shape form or fashion, but not fun. )) She shook
herself out of internal thoughts as she found herself next in line to be
served. Watching food get dropped onto her plate she mentally assessed it.
((fruit-esque substance, vegetable-like substance, milk in a carton! HUZZAH!
Flashbacks to bygone days.. and. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!))

Alex moved out of line with a laden tray and a look of supreme consternation
on her face. Plopped into the middle of her plate surrounded in its own
juices and looking strangely ominous was a piece of meat. At a glance and a
sniff she could not identify exactly what it was. She shook her head and
shrugged, best not to stare too closely at the food lest it leap of the
plate and attack her or something of equal absurdity. She was about to pass
by a table when a voice hailed her.


She faintly heard her name over the general din of officers speaking and
eating. She turned to the source of the voice and found Hane sitting at a
table with a few of her fellows presumably. Alex walked over and slid into
the table across from the petite girl, smiling hello.

"Hey, long time no see. Been a day or so. Haven't been chased around by
anything else have you?"

Hane blushed lightly but found the gentle jest in Alex's seemingly-serious
tone and smiled. "No, haven't been fleeing flying barbells anytime

Alex smiled ruefully. "So the flight of the weights was a one-time
occurrence? More is the pity." She turned her attention to the food that
decorated her plate. Avoiding the meat very seriously she  nibbled at what
seemed to be salad after a few experimental chews. No dressing. She wasn't
complaining, some of those cafeteria ladies had looked scary. They were
bigger than her. Hell the entire base was bigger than her except for Hane!
She smiled to her friend.

"Do you have any guesses about what this is?"

She poked the piece of meat with a fork. It oozed a bit of juice and then
sat placidly on her plate again as if it had not been disturbed. Looking
over to Hane's plate she noted that the other woman hadn't touched hers
either. Hane peered at it and then looked back to Alex.

"No idea. Doesn't smell like anything I'm used to eating. But hey," her eyes
sparkled as she paused to take a bite of the fruit part of the meal. "At
very least it doesn't try to get up and walk away."

Alex grinned. "I don't know yet," there was a tinge of a laugh slowly
seeping into her voice. "I think that if I slice into it, it may become
animate and try to escape."

Hane stared at her, an eyebrow raised. "Are you suggesting the mystery meat
is sentient?"

Alex stared at it and noted that little parts of it were an odd orange
color. The more she looked at this thing the less appetizing it got. She was
sure the little puddle of liquid had moved since the last time she had
looked at it. It was making a serious advance toward her fruit. She ate the
fruit hurriedly, waiting for Hane to reply. The younger woman was staring at
her meat, as if to observe it from all angles for a scientific hypothesis.

"Just maybe. Maybe if you cut it, it'll try to get up and run away."

Alex giggled, the thought of the meat scurrying off her plate and leaving a
little trail of sauce after it was rather amusing. "Maybe we could, I dunno,
train the meat or something? It could fetch the paper."

That struck Hane the right way. A titter of laughter came from her
direction but she quelled it, looking seriously back at Alex. "Honestly, I
couldn't quite see that," pointing a fork at the mystery meat, "sitting on
the rug in front of the fireplace."

Alex's eyes lit up. She leaned in close to Hane and spoke, her tone laced
with laughter just barely held in check. "Well, if not in front of the
fireplace, then maybe on Commander Maxwell's knee.. . a lap-meat. A little
collar and everything."

Both women stared at each other for a moment and then it started, they both
burst into full-out laughter. Several of their tablemates turned and gave
them very strange looks before returning to their food. Alex and Hane
carried on for a moment and then attempted to be somber again. It failed
miserably. Hane stared at Alex and grinned. "It could be like Lassy. Go
meat! Timmy's stuck in the well."

That started them off again. Tears were beginning to prick at Alex's eyes
and her stomach was starting to hurt. Hane didn't look to be in any better
shape then she was. Alex grinned and in between uneven breaths she managed
to gasp out. "Yeah, that would be funny."

They took a moment of silence to compose themselves, not looking at each
other or the meat. Alex looked down and began to chuckle softly again, her
shoulders trembling as she tried desperately to hold it in. Hane was staring
at hers too. "They really could use these, you know for experiments."

Alex stared at her bemused and amused at the same time. "You mean, like..
have the meat run though mazes and such?"

Hane giggled softly, covering her mouth and trying not to laugh, it wasn't
working. "Yeah, they could complete the little maze and get a treat."

Alex was laughing again, loud and long in a way that had tended to gather
strange looks from other people in the past. She couldn't help it. "Go
Fluffy! If you beat your old time you get two!"

Hane stared at her lunch then Alex and was roaring again too, pretty soon
the two women were on the floor rolling and chortling. They had gained
many-a bizarre look and some people had moved away from them. Alex lay on
the floor gasping and stared at Hane under the table, laughing desperately.
"I could see it now, " she said weakly, her lips curled up into a helplessly
large smile. "Commander, and his faithful attack meat Fluffy."

"Phhhhhht!!" Hane was at it again, eyes clenched closed and tears of mirth
falling over her cheeks. Alex wasn't in much better shape, lying on her
back, curled almost into a ball, holding her stomach and trying
unsuccessfully to breathe. Five minutes of pure and unadulterated hilarity
later both women were again sitting up straight and attempting to be
serious. The mystery meat continued to sit there untouched. Alex's eyes were
sparkling and her cheeks were slightly moist from the tears that had fallen
earlier. They just grinned. Alex pushed her plate away.

"I hope that we don't get in too much trouble."

Hane stared hopelessly at the meat and the juice that had turned semi-solid
on her plate. "You realize of course Alex, that we have to eat this don't

Alex stared at the meat hopelessly. "You mean.. we have to..eat...it?"

Hane nodded. Smiles clawed at their lips but they wouldn't let them fully
blossom. Alex just smiled helplessly. "I can't do this.." She folded her
arms and put her head down on the table. ((military life blows.))