More Kai angst! Yah! This one is rated PG-13 because of some violence!

Desolation - Tatakai

Khamryn was filling out reports on the computer terminal in the room he shared with his partner. Though he was no longer sure if Tatakai could be called his partner any more. The distant assassin had become very silent of late...never talking unless asked a direct question. The German could count on one hand the number of times he had heard the other speak since...that afternoon...

The computer beeped at him. Someone had sent an e-mail message to him. Well not to him specifically he noticed, but rather it had been sent to everyone. Quickly he skimmed the contents of the message and felt a big smile creep over his face. It had been a VERY long time since he went clubbing and that Trinity woman was certainly pretty enough...

He cast a wistful look at the older man, who was on his bed cleaning one of his guns. He seemed to do that a lot now. As if the weapons had some sort of special meaning to him. Before Tatakai had been meticulous in his care of the guns he had been assigned by the quartermaster. Now the weapons were an extension of himself. No...they -were- his existence. Now it was impossible to she the green eyed man without a weapon.

"Um...Tatakai." The other didn't even look up at him, and that lack of reaction hurt worse then anything else. "Trinity Dawson is organizing a night out on the town. Would you like to go?"

The assassin continued his rhythmic stroking of the gun barrel. He didn't say a word, didn't move a muscle. In no way did he show the boy any indication of having heard him.


Green eyes snapped up, a senseless furry in those wide depths. Quicker then thought her was off the bed, the disassembled gun left behind. Khamryn who had been sitting at the desk, the chair turned slightly so that he was facing the other man. But presently he found himself being forced over backwards against he desk, Tatakai's forearms crushing his throat!

"Don't you EVER call me that," the assassin snarled, face pressed right close to the boy's so that there was no mistaking the fury that was consuming him. "You have no right!"


His mind flooded with images of his tender lover. And of all the times the silver hair had used that endearment with him...

The cold expression stayed focused on Khamryn. He noticed the wonderful shade of blue the boy was turning. And it would have been -so- gratifying to choke the life out of him for -daring- to use the familiar with him. But no...the Commander wouldn't approve. Slowly he closed down on the rage that was consuming him, pushing it back into the darkest recess of his soul...if he had one...

Letting the boy up Tatakai turned his back on him and returned to his cot and the dismantled gun that was sitting there. Picking up the barrel and the rag beside it he resumed cleaning the metal.

For a moment all Khamryn could do was sit up and gasp for air, a hand gong to his throat. Terrified eyes watched his emotionless partner. What just happened? He coughed a couple of times but the sound drew no response from the assassin. Trying to hide the fear that now gripped him, the boy spoke up flippantly.

"So is that a 'no'?"

Tatakai glared at him.

Khamryn tried again. "But it would do you good to get out--"

"Waste of time," was the emotionless response.

* * *

He really hadn't meant to call the man Kai. It had just come out. For a few moments, he stared at his partner. Then he made a decision...tonight he planned on getting very...very drunk. Khamryn stood, a bit shakily, and went to his portion of the room. Once there he took out a duffle bag.

The German hadn't unpacked it. He'd felt no reason to. So he ruffles amongst the 2 pairs of shirts and pulls out one. They were both identical black dress shirts. After entering and locking the bathroom, he quickly strips himself of the uniform's jacket and under shirt, then pulls on the black shirt.

He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts, then glanced at the door. Tatakai..he wonders what went wrong. A part of him informed him that something like this would happen. He bats the voice away. ~...this is worse then Skylar.~ he decides, a hand making sure his gloves were on.

Khamryn checks himself over, then shakes his head. He exits the bathroom to retrieve his pants and knee high boots, then returned to the bathroom, locking it again, and stripped himself of the regulation boots and pants. A few minutes later, he comes out wearing the pants he'd been wearing when he first came and the pair of knee high boots. ~No more...~ he tells himself. Absently he reaches into the duffle bag and pulls out a picture.

It was him and Skylar. They'd both lived at the same place. He glares at the picture. Skylar was smiling in it. Those eyes stare at him. He checked a clock, then headed for the door. Before he got there he aimed badly at the trash can with the picture and missed. It drifted unnoticed to the floor.

* * *

Tatakai watched as the German flounced out of the room, heading for the others at the hanger.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

He wanted the boy near that he could...what?

Mine. Mine. Mine.

He didn't understand what he wanted. It made no sense. It didn't help he be what he must. It was he ignored it.

Mine. Mine. Mine.