This one gets an R rating! And you'll see why! It happens right after the Kham/Kai fic I just posted!


Conditioning - Tatakai

It was the most wonderful feeling. To just hold Khamryn, feeling the warmth of that lithe body pressed against his own. It had been so very long. And he had feared that he wouldn't every be able to feel anything for anyone else. That Cho...

His throat closed up and an half chocked sob escaped him. Hastily her buried his face in the crook of the boy's neck. Oh god...I.... Squeezing his eyes shut his mind flashes back on one of the tender moment he had shared with his love.

~The bed they shared was a luxurious. It wasn't the dingy little apartment they shared. This was a high priced suit in one of the cities top hotels. It had been a reward for a job well done. And both the man and the boy were determined to enjoy their time their. The night before they had christened the sheets.

Tatakai lay against his lover and mentor. He sighed in contentment. "Kai? Do you love me?" The words startled him but he didn't hesitate in his answer. "Yes...with all my heart Cho."

The older man bent down and kissed him tenderly. The fifteen year old boy granted the questing tongue access to the warm interior of his mouth. With drowsy pleasure the boy closed his eyes. When it felt as though he'd pass out from lack of air, the silver haired man broke the kiss. A intense silver gaze searched his own green depths.

"Don't ever leave me little one," that light tenor rasped seductively to him. "I couldn't bare it..." Without thinking about it Tatakai threw himself at the other man, burying his face the crook of Cho's neck, playfully nipping the flesh there. "Never Cho! I'll be with you to the end of time!"~

~Liar! Betrayer!~ He could hear Cho's voice rail at him.

Khamryn forgotten, Tatakai curled in on himself, slipping out of the other boy's grasp and sinking to the floor with a whimper.

~Shameless Bastard! Whore!~

The assassin squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to block out the painful words. But that only seemed to make them all the more strident.

~Whore. Whore! WHORE!~

Laying on his side on the floor he rocked slightly. "Cho..." ~I'm sorry! I love you! Only you! I'm sorry!"

~You left me! You let me DIE!~


~You ran to him!~


A sharp flash of pain snapped across his back and he jerked reflexively but he didn't cry out. He had no right to. He deserved this and so much more...

Another whip crack and another riverlet of fire opened up across his back. A keening sound escaped the man's lips and he ground his jaw hard. He had not right to make any sound. He would take his punishment. He deserved it and so much more!

He could hear his master...his mentor...his lover. Cho was screaming at him, telling him to shut up. Telling him it was what he needed....deserved....wanted. Yes...he wanted the pain. He needed this, the pain told him that Cho cared. The more the better.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

Again and again the whip struck, biting deeply into him. It felt as though the flesh of his back was being flayed from him. But he needed it!

* * *

Khamryn watched with shocked eyes as Tatakai curled up in a fetal position on the floor. He was whimpering as though he was in pain. Then the older man began jerking though he was being struck! But there was no one there.

"Tatakai?" the German asked worriedly. But as he knelt beside his friend he say that the man's eyes were closed. Touching the assassin he sought to sooth the distressed man, but instead he watched as the other acted as though his touch caused real pain.

The assassin cried out sightlessly as Khamryn's touch. Then he was reacting to the unseen blows that were being landed on him. At first the man had seemed determined to suffer in silence. But now he was gasping his pain as he lay on the floor.

The German thought he heard the other say something and he leaned closer. But the words were incoherent. Then the screams started...full throated and blood curdling. That was what decided the boy. Standing up quickly he dashed out into the hall, looking for anyone how could help him. But for once there was no one around. Thinking quickly he sprinted down the hall and careened into Duo's office.

Sorata, in full psychopathic secretary mode, glared at him and began to rise from behind the desk. Khamryn ignored the man and hurled himself at the Commander's office. The transvestite couldn't believe the boy's gall and began moving behind the boy so that he could ring the upstarts' neck!

But the first words out of the boy's mouth stopped him cold.

* * *

Duo looked up in surprise from the stack of papers he had been working on. But the dressing down he had been preparing died on his lips as he looked at those frightened gold flecked eyes. "What is it ensign?"

"Sir! It's Tatakai! Something is really wrong!" The German fidgeted uneasily.

"What's wrong? Where is he?" Duo demanded as he stood up from behind the desk and quickly stepped around, coming to stand next to the distraught boy.

"I don't know," the boy all but wailed. "He's in pain! And I don't know what to do! You have to help him!" As he spoke he was edging towards the door, obviously anxious to get back to his partner.

Duo, thoroughly confused, and having visions of every disaster imaginable flashing through his head, grabbed Kham by the shoulders, forcing him to stand still. "Where is he," the Commander repeated. He didn't raise his voice. That wouldn't have helped.

Squirming in the Commander's grasp he answered as directly as possible. "He's in our quarters!"

That was enough. Duo let the ensign go and glared and the secritary who had been coming up behind the ensign. "Sorata, come with me. I may need your help." With that the Commander strode out of the office and into the hall. He didn't know what to expect but he could figure out something once he had seen it for himself.

Sorata, neither asked questions nor argued, simply falling into step with the Gundam pilot. Khamryn quickly joined them and the three made their way through the hall at a fast walk. Whatever the Commander and his secretary expected to find...wasn't anything close to what they were confronted with. As the door to the boy's quarters opened the first thing they noticed was the blood curdling screams. Three sets of eyes quickly found the tortured figure on the floor as he curled protectively about himself. The screams were accompanied by violent motions as though the young man was being struck...but there as no one near him!

What the hell? Duo activated the little communicator on his wrist and called the infirmary. "This is Duo. I have a medical emergency in room #2278. I need a stretcher pronto!" There was a vague affirmative form the other end before her shut down the link. With help on the way the Commander moved towards the boy on the floor.

But before he could even kneel beside the other, Tatakai was already recoiling from him. And every time he tried to reach fro the ensign the other would react as though every touch cause intense pain! Finally Duo gave up and got to his feet.

There was a flurry of motion as three medics opened the door to the room and quickly wheeled in a stretcher. Two of the medics briskly assessed Tatakai's situation and then quickly placed him on the stretcher. There was some excitement as the assassin began to thrash, still screaming for someone name 'Cho' to forgive him.

As the two medics quickly strapped the man down the third turned to Duo and began rattling off a bizillion questions. The Commander did his best but he really didn't know anything. As the stretcher was wheeled out of the room Duo snagged the German and pushed him at the medic. But he wasn't much more help.

* * *

The doctor was baffled as he looked at the patient in the padded room. He had been put in a straightjacket because he had been so very violent. But right then he was just siting against the wall starring at nothing. The doctor wasn't sure if this was an improvement over the horrendous screams that had filled the entire medical wing.

Sighing inwardly he stowed the patients clip board under his arm and headed towards his next patient.

* * *

In the white little room sightless eyes gazed at nothing. Weakness...It was his own weakness. A weakness that couldn't be allowed.

In his mind that young boy he had been ran in terror. Terror of the pain, terror of Cho's anger, terror of death. That child barricaded himself in the deepest corner of the assassin's mind. Leaving the body uninhabited by the caring person he was and took great pains to hide.

Instead, the cold, ruthless killer the Family had trained came to the fore. He wasn't weak. He had no emotions to betray him. Only his assigned task mattered. And right then he needed to leave this place.

Green eyes blinked, focusing on the blank wall before him. With an utter lack of expression on his face he stood up. The straightjacket made the maneuver a little awkward. Once on his feet though he turned to the door before him. No one would have recognized the creature that stare out from behind those cold green depths.