Oh most odious of the seishi
may I begin to count the ways
that I despise thee?
Man with the symbol of heart
upon his empty head
who has not one himself.
How do I hate thee?
Let me tell the ways:
Would I could lock you in a box
And pounce it thrice with five ton rocks
and then, as if some magic trick
through it, countless rapiers stick
but not illussion with fake steel
the points be sharp, the edges real;
Then should you still remain alive
I'll find more ways, so hard I'll strive
I'll tie you up against a pine
then make you hear Miaka's whine
oh countless times until ears bleed,
and like a child shall you plead
But then continue, so I shall
and let Nuriko slap you, pal
and allow Tamahome to rack your "stones"
and give you to Ahitare, a good chew bone
and let Tasuki fry you with his fan
and Chichiri hold the pan
for Suboshi, yo-yos poised
accompanied by unholy noise
of Amiboshi's flute and Yuui's bitching
until all that's left is a twitching
pile of subhuman goo
Then Nakago, then shall you
understand what suffering each horrid scene
afflicts upon us when you're on screen
And how you make us wish to retch
and for our eyes, sharp daggers fetch
You slimy, perverted, little jerk
get thee into that box and begin to hurt!